" The distance between dreams and reality is called action " Have you ever had a dream/ idea/ goal that you REALLY believed in? Like reaaaaalllyyyyyyyy believed in. Like a, "I don't care how many years of school, late nights, sacrifice and long hours of practice it's going to take - I'm going to [insert goal here]. WATCH ME DO IT." sort of dream?! Before I go any further... let me stop and congratulate you on finding something that you're passionate about, because not everyone has found theirs yet. Whether you're passionate about a profession, an idea or a cause - whatever it may be - passion is one of our greatest fuels for motivation. Let's be honest with ourselves here... motivation can be exhausted. There are days when we look at the long road ahead of us with fatigue and think, "is it really worth it?" - I know that you know those days. Those overwhelming days (weeks/months/years) where nothing seems to be going right, nothing seems to be falling into place as it should, and life would be a whole lot easier if you just walked away right now. I get it, I get it.. I really and truly do. But listen up.... DON'T YOU DARE. Don't you dare give up on something that you're passionate about... something that you believe in so storngly. Who would you be if you didn't stand up and fight through the trying times? Stop and take a moment to fuel your mind with the passion that drove you to the starting line in the first place. Remind yourself why you started. Relocate your purpose...then keep on pushing forward. "It's okay, just stay positive, it will all work out," your loved ones will say trying to comfort you. YES, stay positive - BUT ALSO KEEP YOUR MOMENTUM. Dreams are merely dreams without the action, and action without the follow through is action done in vain. There will always be people smarter than you, more talented than you, with more money than you - it's the tough facts of life - but it is the person who never quits...the one who keeps going even when times get hard... the person that keeps their passion alive... THAT is the person who will dream out loud...THAT is the person who will say, "I TOLD YOU I COULD, AND I DID,"... THAT is the person who will surpass even the most talented. Nothing worth doing ever comes easily, and if it did, you would never know the true value of your accomplishments. Your struggles not only build character, but it will make your final destination a whole lot more fulfilling, I promise you that. Remember why you started, and don't give up until you've reached where you intended to be. Don't let the length of time it will take to get there deter you. Despite how many unforeseen turns you may take on your journey, it's not over until you quit - so don't you dare quit. As the saying goes, "tough times don't last, tough people do." Ps. This post was intended to go in a whole different direction, but I feel so motivated right now that the rant spilled out ... INTENDED POST TO COME another day haha... XxX
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She no longer feared the darkness because of monsters under her bed. No, as she grew older the fear of the night was different. The rush of thoughts that suffocated her under the night's cloak brought a different kind of worry. Insecurity was the nocturnal monster and it preyed on every atom of her being. I wrote that one lonely night a couple of years ago. I wrote it at a time where I got through my days with a smile, but each night that I sat alone, I felt inadequate. I felt as though I was "old" (I know, I know *rolls eyes*) with little to show for it. My friends would graduate university a couple years earlier than me, and I wasn't sure if I was falling behind on life's unspoken check points. Go to school - graduate - find a job - find a partner - get married .. you know how it goes. My Instagram was flooded with beautiful people traveling the world, fit physiques and cute couples in love (& at that time my commitment issues were at an all time high). Why do I feel like this? I have a blessed life. What am I doing wrong? Why am I not THERE yet? Will I ever get there? I'm writing this today not because I want you to know this. I'm actually considering backspacing this entire post as I type (because well...let's be real here; admitting to actually being human can be hard in the age of social media perfection) ... but I do think that it needs to be spoken out loud. Recently, I have far too often been faced with amazing people who feel inadequate or low in general. It's as though we all walk around with a brave face on for one another, but behind closed doors, we're all silently hurting (at some point at the very least). I want to make it clear to you right now that you're NOT ALONE. The worst part is, people say that all the time. Yet when you're lying in bed at 1am wondering who you can call, but you 'feel bad' to burden anyone with your silly self doubt - you ARE alone. Your words are tied up in a mental cage and though in theory you want to tell someone how you feel, you just can't, right? You selflessly continue your days trying to overcome whatever it is on your own because no one else needs that sort of stress in their lives.... some of us get lucky and maybe it gets better...maybe it doesn't ... But my dear friend, you need to understand right now that we always have a choice. Your circumstances do not define you - how you react to them is what defines you. It's okay to feel down, angry, anxious, homesick or otherwise. How else will you come to know happiness, forgiveness or excitement? Embrace the emotions that you feel, accept them, but then release them. It's when we allow negativity to fester that the true problems arise. We don't control our mood swings, who we fall in love with, or anything that goes on inside that crazy emotional chest of ours - but what we can control are the choices that we make with those feelings in tow. Sadness, insecurity, anger, whatever it may be - negative emotions evolve from limitless sources, but I truly believe that gratitude & communication are the first two steps in climbing the ladder that will take you out of the darkness. Whether you've been there for a mere 20 minutes in grueling traffic, a few months into your working frustrations, or buried for years in a suffocating depression, no one has felt worse from being grateful. Trust me on this. In moments of silence, rather than dwelling on your shortcomings, think about all the things in this life that you are grateful for. YOU and only you have the ability to change your tomorrow. In this world of 7 billion people, the odds are that your genuine well being means the world to someone (probably a lot of someones) - if you think otherwise, do the math. Be brave, if not for yourself, then for those that love you, and open the bottle of words unspoken aimlessly floating through your veins. Allow yourself to be loved and cared for. We all deserve to be loved and cared for. Perfection does not build deep, human, bonds; vulnerability does. Let's stop walking around with perfectly filtered lives, but open our arms to embrace the beautiful mess that we all truly are. (In my case, when Ron Burgundy yelled the words, 'I'm in a glass case of emotion'.. Yup, basically my life. I love too hard, I cry when I'm overly happy- I'm a constant basket case. Okay back to being serious...(but really).) Emotions are quite frankly one of the most extraordinary phenomenons of this life, and you are NOT alone in experiencing them. Regardless of if you've been living on cloud 9, or battling the whispers of self doubt, we're all susceptible to switch sides at any moment in time. The key is to know that you have a choice. Are you going to let negativity consume you? Or are you going to leave this device with the will to climb out of the darkness? As much as society might like you to believe it, no one is perfect. Despite how 'together' others may seem on the outside, everyone has their own quiet conflicts that they are dealing with. Why don't we share our struggles the way that we share our success? After all, we learn more from our low points than we do our high, do we not? Whether your emotional burden is due to circumstance, genetics or otherwise, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. Don't fall victim to the idea of necessary perfection, and certainly don't fall victim to insecurity's bullying habbits. You would not want to see someone you love being bullied, so why would you allow it to be your reality? Put the emotional antagonizer in his place, and change you reality. Don't spend your life feeling low in solitude, use this energy to create something beautiful. Create happiness, create relationships, create the life that you deserve. Personal change does not come easily, but by all means, it IS possible. What if I told you that you have the potential to inspire others with your strength? Well I'm telling you now that you do. No matter what it is that you're going through, YOU have the power to be better than you were yesterday. YOU have the power to lift others higher. YOU have the power to create a beautiful life. The decision is in your hands. What are you going to do with it? Don't know where to start? Try my SIX QUICK FIX TRICKS - It's a small start, but a start none the less. Side note: I heard these words spoken in a movie once, and I thought that it was beautifully calming. Feels appropriate to share it right now:
"Take three deep breaths. This is the only moment you need to be worried about. There's no yesterday. There's no tomorrow. There's just right now. You're not late for anything, and you're going to miss anything. You're exactly where you're supposed to be... and you're exactly who you're supposed to be. You're absolutely perfect. And whatever happens today is exactly what's supposed to happen." (Hit&Run, 2012) "Do you think that we will still do this when we're older?" he asked. My eyes looked up to rest against his, "what do you mean?" I replied. "Just all of our friends being together... more people than beds, but it doesn't matter...just this..." This weekend I had the pleasure of being a part of joint birthday festivities. Coming to the end of our two hour journey from 'home', we swerved through a winding path hugged by lush greenery to arrive at our celebration destination. Fallen flowers from the Poui trees decorated the ground that surrounded the charming house upon the hill. The well kept garden looked out onto the vast ocean - it was a day dream come to life.
While admiring the beauty that surrounded the house brought peace and serenity, inside was a little different. Not because the house wasn't lovely (it was) but the chaos that you could imagine we created was quite a contrast. It wasn't a negative chaos, but the exciting kind. The sort of chaos where you're running around trying to find the best sleeping spot, where there are too many hands grabbing the delicious beef kebabs, and the words PING-PANG-PONG aren't just blabber, but the difference between life and drunk. It was a weekend where coolers became preformance stages, water bottles became microphones, those who slept first got lipstick smeared on them and those who slept last were woken too soon by the sound of morning laughter. We sang at the top of our lungs, went exploring, climbed mountains, played games in the rain and .... battled for the one available (indoor) shower. It was the type of weekend where I was so caught up in each moment that I had not once checked my cell phone. It was the type of weekend that made some fear that growing up would mean losing our carefree, humble selves. When the question was presented to me, I initially thought, "yes, we will change." I couldn't envision 40 year old me battling for a place to sleep (as fun as it was). I envisioned 40 year old me sipping margaritas on a yacht... and when the words came out my mouth, it initially saddened me. This great weekend full of life and laughter... and it won't always be like this. But then I stumbled upon a note I had previously written (yes, I randomly write my thoughts down) : "I don't like the word always; It's stagnant. It implies that nothing is going to change, and that's impossible. Everything changes everyday. Always, What a false comfort." It sounds a little grim, but it's not intended to be. The magic that we experience now will change, but we should not fear that our future won't bring a different type of magic. The experiences, and even many friends, that I had in high school are now but mere memories. Everything has changed since, but it doesn't discredit the magic that it was, and future me will soon feel the same about today. It dawned on me when I pictured myself being fabulous on a yacht, rather than buried between bodies of friends, that my image for the future was skewed. Having the resources to be 'fabulous' doesn't (and shouldn't) change you at your core. Being 40 doesn't mean I can't use a water bottle as a microphone or create a makeshift stage (proof: I do it with my mom far too often). Growing older will bring changes, but it's up to us on how we adapt to them. We will not ALWAYS be the way we are in this very moment. We may not be surrounded by the same people or believe all the same things, and so yes change is inevitable. That's why we must appreciate these moments as they come, appreciate the people who we're so lucky to meet along the way and the adventures we're so blessed to have.... But to really answer the question 'will we still do this when we're older'? I don't see why not. Margaritas and a yacht don't fulfill a life, the people you drink those margaritas with do. If you all promise to sing too loud, dance until your feet hurt, and continue to go on adventures with me... I promise to do the same. Change is inevitable, but we control the magic inside of us that keeps our spirit alive. Thank you for another wonderful weekend to all those who so openly welcomed me into your circles. Have you ever caught a laughing fit? That feeling where you're laughing so hard, someone can say something incredibly random like, 'potato' and it's as if you heard the best joke of your life?! Those are my absolute favorite. I do have a reason for bringing that up. One second, let me get to it.... Last week I got a call to send in an audition tape for a short film (those calls are also my favorite haha). I was super excited about it, until I realized that I'm (not-so-)secretly really awkward. In front of my fellow acting peers I'm super invested, but in front of people outside of that bubble... I get so nervous. As much as we can develop thick skin and try not to concern ourselves with the opinions of others, people are judgy (shh...it's a word now), and it still takes an initial courage to step forward. So, now surrounded by a total of zero of my uni-film family, I had to weigh my options. Who can I ask to audition/read with me??? I scrolled through a mental list, and while I'm sure each person on that list would be willing to help.. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There was truly only one man for the job, and if you know this particular individual, you will completely understand why. For those of you who don't know, a picture says 1,000 words... you're welcome. SO... after arranging his entire room to accommodate my audition (the draws moved to the center of the room, stacked with books to get the camera just right. He brought in extra lights and chairs from outside...the works) we began. I didn't last 30 seconds. What started as nervous laughter morphed into a comedy show. Between the accents, the antics and all in-between, I'm not quite sure how we got the job done. Moments like those... moments of pure laughter. Moments that make everything else disappear because all you can do is laugh, those are the moments I live for. Stepping out of my comfort zone is always a good feeling, but experiencing the love and support of the people around me (all while having a good time)- there is no comparison. Wanna know the best part? Even with all of the giggles, a couple days later my phone rang and ... I got the gig! Remember the other day when I wrote about success not being a one man journey? This is a great example of why. I couldn't have auditioned without my cousin, and I wouldn't have gotten the opportunity without those involved in the project... so for that, I would like to say THANK YOU. I don't often tell people when good things are in the works as (not to sound negative but) a lot of the time no one is really that concerned as they are focused on their own journeys... which is fine too...BUT as this blog is documenting MY JOURNEY ... I'M SHARING THE GOOD NEWS! WOOOHOOO! It will be filming next year, so hopefully you'll stick around to see how it goes. Until then... The journey continues... Trying to audition with this guy got me like...On a scale of 1 - 10 ( one being 'I haven't had my coffee yet' and ten being, 'I feel more stressed out than America right now') how rough has your week been? Or maybe not? Maybe things have been smooth sailing and if that's the case - CONGRATULATIONS ON SUCCESSFULLY HUMAN-ing! I can't even say 'adult-ing' because... well... life does not discriminate. Young, old, fat, slim, black, white, we're all on the same roller coaster. This roller coaster will send you sky rocketing into the heavens, and other times drop you so low that your stomach is in knots. One moment your screaming with excitement, and the next, you're really trying not to cry in front of the stranger sitting next to you. It's the wildest, most thrilling, most emotionally dramatic experience we will ever know. It's all encompassing. In this life it's not uncommon when we become consumed with our day to day activities. Be it that we're busy at work, with kids, fighting to reach our goals, or really just trying to keep it together; So often I see people become prisoners of their self-constructed-to-do-lists. We're ALWAYS on the go, ALWAYS accessible, and yet it's a time in humanity where I've come to see the most stress and LONELINESS. (not that I've visited other times in humanity to compare or anything but... you get where I'm coming from.) You spend so much time trying to do what you 'need to do,' do you ever stop to take care of YOURSELF? I've been thinking about it lately and decided to construct my own 'SIX QUICK FIX TRICKS' (say that 5 times fast. I dare you.) to improving the week. One day a week I decided to take the time to check a to-do list that would leave a positive influence in my life. The list is as follows: #1. ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING BEFORE 8am Literally anything! Finishing reading a book, exercise, do laundry... Just be productive. #2. COMPLETE A TASK YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF When I told my brother about it he said, "I haven't put off anything.... Actually, I think i've put stuff off for so long I don't remember what it was anymore." - At least he's honest. #3. CLEAN/TIDY AN AREA THAT YOU SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN You don't have to clean the entire house (unless you want to); but, your kitchen, your desk, your bedroom, your car... #4. TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE THEM Say it in person, write a text, send a letter... a simple 'thank you' is even enough, but just make sure to share the love. #5. DO SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE Help a friend, let a car out in traffic, pay for the man in line behind you, offer to baby sit .. the scale doesn't matter. #6. CALL/VISIT SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO IN A WHILE. Don't let your hectic life cause you to loose the people who matter. Always make time. FYI: A breakdown of why I chose these specific tasks would look something like this: #1:Be productive #2: Begin to declutter your mind #3: Declutter your surroundings #4: Be grateful #5: Be kind #6: Nurture relationships. Each one of these elements I believe to be very important to our well being. So today I took to completing this 'challenge' and I must say, it felt good! The actions I decided to take were by no means extravagant, but they were steps in the right direction to a productive and positive week. My six went as follows: (pictures below) 1. A 6am run - My running partner was not pleased with the call time, but a little healthy competition made for a great morning run! I love to get my exercise out the way because on afternoons I get lazy. 2. I FINALLY delivered a birthday present that was sitting in my room for 2 months. - It felt good, not only having one less thing to remember to do, but birthday presents always put me in a good mood. 3. My desk-turned-clothes-rack became a desk once again. - I've been staring at the mountain of paraphernalia on my desk for far longer than I would like to admit. I finally have a work space again (which makes me feel to be productive). 4. I wrote a note of appreciation to someone special to me. - It's always special to let someone important to you know how much they matter. 5. I did my mom's laundry for her - I don't like doing laundry, but it put a smile on her face so - that felt good. 6. I called a really good friend on the phone to catch up (as I couldn't get the time to physically see her.) - It's SO EASY to say 'tomorrow' but I made the effort to pick up the phone & it was wonderful chatting. We even made plans to meet up this week! These small gestures gave me the ability to clear my cluttered surroundings and my cluttered mind. It forced me to make time for myself, and the people that matter most. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of your days, but sometimes it's important to stop and do the little things that turn into the big things. Small positive changes can make big waves. We need to make sure not to stray from the tiny moments that bring us joy and clarity amongst all of the chaos. Don't end up a statistic on my 1- 10 scale. Some time this week I challenge you to try my 'SIX QUICK FIX TRICKS' with me ! There's honestly truly no such thing as a 'quick fix', but 'six ways to help improve your week' just doesn't roll off the tongue the same! Regardless, it's certainly a start to a less stressful, more positive lifestyle. So......Are you gonna join me, or you just gonna sit here and read??? MY SIx.Oh ps! If you do decided to try it out with me, let me know how it goes for you!
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