At what point in life do we learn to feel embarrassed? What is it that makes us self conscious about our looks or our actions that we become so concerned with the opinions of others? For many years, my mother has reminded me to 'enjoy my youth'. She's spoken these words in many different ways, but the one that stood out to me most was when my grandfather was ailing. In a conversation she relayed to me, he asked her, 'what was it all about?'. The 'it' he was referring to was life - Many of us live each day, caught up in our daily tasks and relationships... We hold on to grudges, we get frustrated with circumstances, we take it all very seriously.... and very rarely do we stop to think 'what is it all about?'. With this piece of knowledge... the knowledge that we have the choice to define what our life is about... that none of it really matters... i've been able to open my life up to an abundance of (to me) absurd opportunities, that under my natural thought process I am probably not suitable or capable of doing. I think that many of us allow the whispers of insecurity to deter us from great things, but i've come to realize that: Doing things that I don't think that i'm capable of has been a terrifyingly, magical and freeing experience. Keeping my mothers advise close to heart, I decided to not take myself too seriously, and in 2009 I joined an acting class. Through this class, her lesson was further engrained in my reality. Each week I would enter the creative world of acting, where a group of (then) strangers got together , to embody characters much different to themselves. It was here that I realized that being embarrassed didn't make me 'cool' for not wanting to make a fool of myself. It made me... well... just not that good. I remember observing three particularly talented women in my class (Keri, Tenielle and Teri) who would give each performance their all. If they had to be a crazy person - they WERE the crazy person, no questions asked. I remember in those moments understanding that being self conscious inhibited my ability to embrace the task in front of me. I was at my best when I gave it my all, and wasn't concerned with the opinions of those around me. This small, but important lesson has made waves in my life. My next big 'aha moment' came to me when I was asked to partake in a 'bikini fashion show' at my university. Me? Bikini Fashion show? Ha. WHAT A JOKE. No lie, I went home that night and wondered if they were messing with me. I couldn't comprehend how someone could look at me in all of my 'thick-sauce' glory and ask me to stand next to perfectly slim, toned girls in a public setting like that. After a great deal of anxiety, convincing from my roommate (who was also in the show) and the encouraging promotion of self love from my mother & boyfriend - I DID IT. I told myself that I couldn't continue to speak about 'loving yourself the way you are' if I wasn't putting action behind my words. I did it for every girl who ever felt like they weren't good enough because they aren't industry standard small.... and you know what? I had a BLAST! That opportunity, matched with the unexplainable confidence that my girl Riki had in me, then lead me to model bikinis for Surf Outfitter. ME? A bikini model? My 16 year old self would never believe you if you told her this (I like food WAY too much). But it happened... Look at the picture to your right. There's 18 year old me, hiding my stomach, because God forbid someone see my little belly. Then there's 23 year old me...there is no change in size, but there is a change in confidence. Challenging myself to get over the opinions of others and to just LIVE, has opened doors both in my physical and mental life. If you think about it, it's sort of narcissistic the way that we don't grab at opportunities because we're concerned with what others might think of us... and even if so - why does it matter? When it's all said and done and you look back on your life, is it really going to matter what Regina Falange thought? Now believe me, I have my fair share of frustrations, and friendship obstacles and social anxieties... I'm by no means perfect. But what I do know is that I try. I try everyday to 'enjoy my youth'. I try to: - put my insecurities to rest - to do things that I don't think I can do - to do things that I don't think 'i'm good enough for' - to know that what others think about me is none of my concern so long as I live with good intentions So with this post I'd like to share the importance of ACTING AGAINST YOUR INSECURITY & truly ENJOYING YOUR YOUTH. Tell those doubtful whispers in your mind . . . BYE FELCIA, because you've got the world to concur. It has truly opened my life to endless possibilities, and I know it would do the same for you. This week I hope that you laugh a littler louder, dance a little crazier, speak your mind and just BE YOU. Have the courage to write your own story, because when it's all over, what was it really all about anyway?
4 Comments
Sharon
6/11/2016 01:31:07 pm
❤❤❤❤
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Isabelle
6/11/2016 03:50:41 pm
Very wise words Carly! We should all say bye Felicia to our insecurities and fears ❤️
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DeSouz
10/11/2016 08:24:44 am
I coulda real do with reading this last week
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