The warm sun gently kisses my eyelids, waking me from a peaceful slumber. I roll over to the mess of wrapping paper, presents, cards and discarded outfits that had been carelessly pushed to the side the night before. My heart burns with gratitude for all of the joy and love that the Christmas season brought, but I groan at the thought of having to tidy up all of the mess that came along with it. “What a hot mess,” I thought to myself, looking at the place in my bed meant for another person - but for the last few days has been filled with the remains of excitedly rushing in and out of the house.
What a Christmas season it was, full of love, laughter and … well, would it really be a celebration without just a little drama? And so it began – the annual “reflect on the last three hundred and sixty something days ” marathon. For a brief moment, as he tries to do, self doubt disguised himself as a concerned friend, questioning what I’ve accomplished this year. NOT TODAY, PAL, NOT TODAY. He was quickly kicked out of memory lane and sent elsewhere, because 2016 has taught me that though I don’t have it all together just yet – the journey has only just begun. I must admit that 2016 was good to me. I had the fortune of traveling (Tobago, Miami, Trinidad, Bahamas, New York, Los Angeles, Grenada, Grenadines), I made new friends, reunited with old ones, graduated university, and I may not have figured out exactly what I DO want, but I certainly know what I DON’T want, and that’s half the battle. There were a few ups and downs, but as this blog has made a point of sharing my life with you, today I would like to share some of the top lessons that I learned in 2016. HERE GOES... 1. WHEN IN DOUBT, ALWAYS CHOOSE THE ADVENTURE - From an impromptu spring break trip to the Bahamas, sipping Moet on a yacht next to Shaquille O’Neal’s, private planes to Ultra, all nighters in New York, interviewing Grammy winners in LA, and leaving a steady job to find true happiness – the adventure has made for some great pages in my book! My road to success is full of turns, but it's certainly not boring! 2. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS - My heart told me that it was time to come home, and while financially I’m still waiting to see why, my personal life is thriving. Being present for my younger cousions growing up, being around for my family when they need me, being there for my best friends engagement, having a real life relationship that’s not over Skype. To me, life is about who you spend it with, and by trusting my instincts enough to come home, I’ve found the utmost truth and happiness in this. 3. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE - If you don’t like something about your life - FIX IT. No one else is going to do it for you. Work, relationships or otherwise – YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. 4. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU, AND THAT’S OKAY. - “You could be the biggest, juiciest peach in the whole world… but there will always be somebody that does not like peaches.” It sounds silly, but it’s SO TRUE. Stop wasting your time trying to get people to like or understand you. If you like you, and those who matter like you – stop troubling yourself with the opinions of those that do not positively contribute to your life! 5. YOUR SELF WORTH BELONGS IN YOUR OWN HANDS, NOT THAT OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. - It’s called SELF worth for a reason; it should come from yourSELF. Don’t allow your value to be dependent on another human’s opinion of you. People change their minds all the time based on their own realities that have nothing to do with you. YOU know your value – treat yourself as such... Oh! And about that person who your selfworth may currently be dependant on? - Heads up! they aren't perfect either. 6. THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ALL OF YOUR FLAWS AND MISTAKES BUT LOVE YOU ANYWAY – DON'T LET THEM GO. - This world is full of people who are very quick to forget your good but judge your shortcomings, often forgetting that NO ONE is perfect. When you're lucky enough to find the handful of people who see all of your flaws and mistakes but can forgive/look past them...the people who despite a lapse in judgment, know your true character - those loving hearts are worth preserving. Make sure to do everything in your power to keep them dear to you. 7. LOVE IS HARD. LOVE IS WORK. LOVE IS A CHOICE. - Love will never be forever butterflies and spontaneous kisses. Sometimes love is actually frustrating and painful. The people you love can disappoint you or drive you crazy at times – but the thing is, everyone will disappoint you; it’s to decide who’s worth it. Eyes can always roam, but by choosing to love someone, you’re choosing to CHOOSE them everyday- ESPECIALLY when things get hard. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that true love isn’t work. 8. “BUSY” IS NOT AN EXCUSE. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS MAKE TIME FOR WHAT MATTERS MOST. - Dreams get lost and relationships fall apart all the time because people are just “too busy”. FALSE. People will ALWAYS make time for what’s most important to them (priorities) – you have 10080 mins in a week. You can take 5 of those to pick up the phone and say hello. 9. ALL YOU HAVE IN THIS WORLD IS YOUR WORD. - I’ve come to realize the immeasurable importance of the people in my life who I can confide in, and know that I can trust that their word is golden. Being transparent and truthful is possibly one of the most freeing experiences. It's not always easy to keep a secret or tell the truth - but in my oppinion, I've come to realize that to be respected for honesty is better than being respected for false perfection. 10. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING - FIGHT FOR IT. -No one cares more about your needs and deisres than you do. That job you want? FIGHT FOR IT. That boy/girl you love? FIGHT FOR HIM/HER. Trying to get fitter?- WORK FOR IT. That goal you're after? - CHASE IT. SERIOUSLY! JUST GET UP AND FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT, because nothing worth having ever comes easily. 11. EMBRACE THE JOURNEY, BECAUSE IT’S THE WHOLE POINT. -So you're not a millionaire yet? Lost your job? You haven't found love yet or maybe recently divorced? Someone you love deeply has passed away? Or maybe you've recently made a string of terrible decisions? - TAKE A DEEP BREATH – this is only the beginning of a new chapter. Each day is a new chance for greatness. ____________________________ Almost a lesson per month? I'm sure there would be more if I sat and pondered longer, but I got things to do! So as I close this chapter of 2016, I would like to say THANK YOU to every single one of you. Thank you for being my friend, for teaching me about life, for loving me, for trusting me, for hurting me, for driving me crazy, for comforting me, for motivating me, for adventuring with me, for laughing with me.... Thank you for reading this blog and being a part of my journey in person or online. With each new year brings a metephorical new start for us all, so as we all celebrate the clock ticking into 2017 - I would like to wish you all of the love and sucess in the world. 2017 is not going to be easy. It will come with many trials and tribulations as each year does. We may lose friends, gain friends, rise and fall - but through it all, I hope that you know that YOU'RE NOT ALONE. We're in this together... So on behalf of everyone reading this blog - BRING IT ON 2017!! We're ready for you!
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Okay, so ... I don't know about you, but I'm constantly on a one man see-saw with my stance on how I feel about the human race. In one moment, I’m giddy with the external love and kindness that hugs my soul - the next - I’m cursing the existence of people everywhere.
How many times has some variation of the words: “Ughhhhh I HATE PEOPLE!” slipped off of your tounge? It’s terribly unfortunate, YET SOMETIMES THEY JUST ASK FOR IT, RIGHT?! After all, people are rude, mean, sly, hurtful… we've all felt the wrath. Parents try to warn us from a tender age through nursery rhymes like, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” It is an admirable effort and warning of defence…truly! But no nursery rhyme can change the fact that words do in fact hurt. Words are so often used like the vennom of the human race, pulling one another down without physical battery. I believe that the value of the nursery rhyme comes from the idea that there is a choice. As usual, there is always a choice. Look, I’ve made a couple of terrible decisions throughout my life… and I’m not talking about the type of terrible decision where you listen to your roommate, drink a 60 oz margarita and wake up the next morning having lost your house keys. Those less than sterling decisions were probably worth the memories. I’m talking about actual poor judgment calls that can test your character- like the one that just popped into your mind while reading this. The thing is, I can genuinely say that all decisions I’ve ever made in life, good or bad, were never made with ill intent. I never sought out to hurt, or spite those around me, even if by extension that was the case. Which makes me wonder… Of all the burned bridges and broken relationships in your life, how many were due to actual malice, and how many to misunderstanding? The choice is always yours to find out. I don’t believe that the majority of this world TRIES to be a*s h*l*s - it just kind of happens sometimes. That taxi man illegally holding up unnecessary traffic to stop for a passenger - he could need the extra cash more than you know. That friend who’s whispering mean things behind your back - she could have more personal troubles than you're aware of. & what about the girl that you don’t like because her face is always sour?- I’m telling you, 'resting bi*ch face’ is an actual thing. She’s probably really nice if you make the effort to find out. I believe that we’re very quick to “hate people”, because we always choose to see OUR side of the story. What would happen if we look around at all of the people that we don’t get along with, and try to understand their story first? And no, not the surface level story that your WhatsApp group gave you the rundown on - their REAL STORY. I know it’s not easy; some people genuinely frustrate the core of your soul, and others may not even give you the chance to understand if you tried. I understand that the world is not all rainbows and unicorns (though it should be), and we can't all hold hands and get along … but I think that right behind appreciation, COMMUNICATION is the key to a happy life. So many conflicts can be avoided and put to rest if we learned to positively and productively use our words with an open mind. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can prevent the quarrel." So many realtionships could be saved and salvaged if we took a moment to understand another point of view. Don't let words be the venom of our world, but the antidote. Not every broken bond can be fixed, but internal peace can be found in understanding. If from today onwards you try to replace hate with compassion, you may just find that you become one of the key pieces that will build a better tomorrow for all of us. <3 Let's try not to hate people. We are people. Let's make 'people' better. Take a moment to open someone else's book; understand their story. Even if it might be the hardest thing you ever to do; release the hate and replace it with love. Let's talk about men & love, shall we? I know I got your attention with that one... ;) Have you ever been in love before?
The kind of love that clouds your thoughts and autocorrects your (almost) every word to his name? The kind of love that makes mundane tasks enjoyable simply because he’s by your side, his eyes painting a permanent smile on your face. Tell me, have you ever met someone that knows your every flaw, yet sees it as a unique kind of beautiful? It’s a wonderfully, terrifying alchemy to feel so strongly for another human being, isn’t it? You don’t get to decide for yourself, but before you even realize it you’ve found 'your person’ and the world as you know it will never be the same. As time scurries onwards, this person captures the title of some of the most important figures in your life: best friend, partner in crime, even family… he’s your everything. (You didn’t think this was coming without a 'but' did you? wait for it… wait for it…) But what about everything before him? Throughout my lifetime i’ve had the privilege of knowing love, and also watching those around me find the same. Each time a new love is found (even if it’s not your own), a dynamic in the world shifts; new friends are made and circles are formed. Your time is distributed differently as your priorities shift, and the rush of new love leaves you always craving more. But ladies, ladies, ladies - no caliber of love should ever grant you an excuse to weaken the bond of friendship. Last weekend I had the pleasure of a joining my girls on a perfect ‘girls getaway' (birthday celebrations woohoo!). A weekend where working women splashed around in a sparkly mermaid tale, sang Spice Girls and laughed till we cried [#adultlife]. I looked around at these amazing women and couldn’t picture my life without them. As we swapped stories that included the great men in our lives, it warmed my heart to know that even the most forever loves couldn’t break our bond. It is so easy to become immersed in your love life, but the people who loved you before you knew love should never get lost in the chapters of your tale. Love is intended to compliment our story, not diminish what we have already written. When there is a chip in your painted smile - your girls will be there, paintbrush in tow. When you feel as though you’re drowning, chasing a love that has been forced across oceans- your girls will be there to throw you a raft. And if ever your love leaves dark cracks in your heart, it will be your girls who come marching through with a lantern. I can tell you, my girls have installed disco balls in my heart where cracks once lay, driven across states so that I can cross oceans, and built ladders to keep my love climbing higher - and THAT is what I’m talking about. Without the love and strength of these women, there's a possibility that my romantic love might not be as magical. So today I want to tell you to LOVE!! Love wildly! But don’t discriminate between your romantic love and the love between friends. Your friends are the protagonists that will keep your story vivacious. Don’t wait until a storm is brewing to look around and realize you’ve forgotten to write them into the most recent chapters of your life. To my ladies (you know who you are)... Thank you for keeping my story so full of love, light and adventure. <3 My heart will never be too full of love for you. The power of art is immeasuarble. Through artistic creations we have amazed (&frightened) the masses bringing still pictures to life, we have designed cities, eternalized history, clothed the world - the reach is infinite. Art is an extremely powerful medium, yet one that is far too often taken for granted, underestimated and ignored. We praise the scientists and the mathematicians for unlocking puzzles that we could not solve, but dismiss the artist who can produce creations that we could not construct. Unless you've entered the elite of artistic fame, your work is regularly treated like that of a child who presented a page of scribbles to his Aunt Meradith. After a lot of jumping up and down to get her attention, you're patted on the back with a smile and a quick gasp of appriciation, then politly brushed to the side once again. In my experience, I've come to realize that many don't understand the true value of art. They don't understand that it is not only crucial to the preservation of our cultural roots (whatever that culture may be), but an outlet of expression that connects us across nations, a way to document history for all eternity, a way to CREATE history, a viable business if done right.... The creative mind is imperative to human progression. To me, art is not simply beautiful paint strokes in a frame, but every beautiful creation you've ever been witness to. Art is the construction of your home, the clothes on your back, the stories that you read, the films that you watch, the family portrait on your wall, a well kept garden - art has no boundries, but by not supporting one anothers art, we create boundries. I can't rant for all avenues of art in one shot, nor speak for all places in the world, so today i'm going to be a little specific in expressing why we SHOULD INVEST IN THE LOCAL ART OF FILM & TELEVISION. 9 REASONS WHY Investing in local televeision is essential In THE CARIBBEAN.[ Feel free to click the grey links as you read for more information ] 1. CULTURAL REPRESENTATION FOR OUR REGION The children of our nation will not be subjected to the danger of a single story. We can give our people a voice; an identity. 2. NATIONAL PRIDE "Together we aspire, together we achieve" - Trinidad&Tobago's national motto. Flashback: World Cup 2006: Do you remember that feeling of unity when the entire country bound together to support the 'Soca Warriors'? Investing in ourselves can rebuild that sense of pride for our nation that will trickle down into all avenues of daily life. When people respect their land and their people, life in said land will significantly improve. 3. DECREASED UNEMPLOYMENT RATE Investing in local television will create hundreads of 'non-traditional' jobs, decreasing unemployment numbers. People can find avenues of work within the production with skills (that maybe they did not know were profitable) for jobs that did not exist before production. (production assistant, actor, boom opperator, cordinator, set designer etc.) 4. TAX INCENTIVES There is a 35% cash back tax rebate with a 20% profit rate when investing in local film/television (In Trinidad & Tobago - or so it's suppose to be.) 5. SYNDICATION & OTHER SERIES PARAPHERNALIA If a series is successful it can generate extreme profits from syndication, books, DVD's, toys etc. 6. PRODUCT PLACEMENT Not only does placing your brand in a television show give it a huge market reach, but the brand becomes embedded in society forever. This marketing tactic has brought GREAT success to many businesses throughout the years. 7. TOURISM Statistics have shown that countries represented in film and television have received a significant increase in tourism. E.g. 'Braveheart' brought a 300% increase of tourism to Scotland a year after it's release. 8. ECONOMY Boosting the local film scene will attract foreign crews looking for different landscapes to our islands which will be putting money back into the economy. International sales of the series will also do this, generating foreign currency. 9. NOBODY WANTS A STARVING ARTIST. Nuff said. Like I said, 'the creative mind is imperative for human progression' and we should start treating it as such. Art is not a notion to be underestimated, but a powerful force to be respected and explored. Islands like Trinidad & Tobago need to start diversifying their means of national income. Why not start here? By investing in local film and television you're not only benefiting your pockets, but the nation/region and it's people. It has enourmous potential to generate revenue and expand into a web of viable business ventures. Whether you're contemplating jumping on board as an international or local investor on a quality Caribbean prodution, the estimated potential ROI is worth your consideration. Trust me, you don't want to get left behind on this journey. The rich culture and exquisite landscapes of the Caribbean create a unique backdrop for any production. ALL WE NEED NOW IS YOU.
Let us band together and allow creativity to prospor in our region. What do you think? If you agree, share this post. Let's get the conversation started. " The distance between dreams and reality is called action " Have you ever had a dream/ idea/ goal that you REALLY believed in? Like reaaaaalllyyyyyyyy believed in. Like a, "I don't care how many years of school, late nights, sacrifice and long hours of practice it's going to take - I'm going to [insert goal here]. WATCH ME DO IT." sort of dream?! Before I go any further... let me stop and congratulate you on finding something that you're passionate about, because not everyone has found theirs yet. Whether you're passionate about a profession, an idea or a cause - whatever it may be - passion is one of our greatest fuels for motivation. Let's be honest with ourselves here... motivation can be exhausted. There are days when we look at the long road ahead of us with fatigue and think, "is it really worth it?" - I know that you know those days. Those overwhelming days (weeks/months/years) where nothing seems to be going right, nothing seems to be falling into place as it should, and life would be a whole lot easier if you just walked away right now. I get it, I get it.. I really and truly do. But listen up.... DON'T YOU DARE. Don't you dare give up on something that you're passionate about... something that you believe in so storngly. Who would you be if you didn't stand up and fight through the trying times? Stop and take a moment to fuel your mind with the passion that drove you to the starting line in the first place. Remind yourself why you started. Relocate your purpose...then keep on pushing forward. "It's okay, just stay positive, it will all work out," your loved ones will say trying to comfort you. YES, stay positive - BUT ALSO KEEP YOUR MOMENTUM. Dreams are merely dreams without the action, and action without the follow through is action done in vain. There will always be people smarter than you, more talented than you, with more money than you - it's the tough facts of life - but it is the person who never quits...the one who keeps going even when times get hard... the person that keeps their passion alive... THAT is the person who will dream out loud...THAT is the person who will say, "I TOLD YOU I COULD, AND I DID,"... THAT is the person who will surpass even the most talented. Nothing worth doing ever comes easily, and if it did, you would never know the true value of your accomplishments. Your struggles not only build character, but it will make your final destination a whole lot more fulfilling, I promise you that. Remember why you started, and don't give up until you've reached where you intended to be. Don't let the length of time it will take to get there deter you. Despite how many unforeseen turns you may take on your journey, it's not over until you quit - so don't you dare quit. As the saying goes, "tough times don't last, tough people do." Ps. This post was intended to go in a whole different direction, but I feel so motivated right now that the rant spilled out ... INTENDED POST TO COME another day haha... XxX
She no longer feared the darkness because of monsters under her bed. No, as she grew older the fear of the night was different. The rush of thoughts that suffocated her under the night's cloak brought a different kind of worry. Insecurity was the nocturnal monster and it preyed on every atom of her being. I wrote that one lonely night a couple of years ago. I wrote it at a time where I got through my days with a smile, but each night that I sat alone, I felt inadequate. I felt as though I was "old" (I know, I know *rolls eyes*) with little to show for it. My friends would graduate university a couple years earlier than me, and I wasn't sure if I was falling behind on life's unspoken check points. Go to school - graduate - find a job - find a partner - get married .. you know how it goes. My Instagram was flooded with beautiful people traveling the world, fit physiques and cute couples in love (& at that time my commitment issues were at an all time high). Why do I feel like this? I have a blessed life. What am I doing wrong? Why am I not THERE yet? Will I ever get there? I'm writing this today not because I want you to know this. I'm actually considering backspacing this entire post as I type (because well...let's be real here; admitting to actually being human can be hard in the age of social media perfection) ... but I do think that it needs to be spoken out loud. Recently, I have far too often been faced with amazing people who feel inadequate or low in general. It's as though we all walk around with a brave face on for one another, but behind closed doors, we're all silently hurting (at some point at the very least). I want to make it clear to you right now that you're NOT ALONE. The worst part is, people say that all the time. Yet when you're lying in bed at 1am wondering who you can call, but you 'feel bad' to burden anyone with your silly self doubt - you ARE alone. Your words are tied up in a mental cage and though in theory you want to tell someone how you feel, you just can't, right? You selflessly continue your days trying to overcome whatever it is on your own because no one else needs that sort of stress in their lives.... some of us get lucky and maybe it gets better...maybe it doesn't ... But my dear friend, you need to understand right now that we always have a choice. Your circumstances do not define you - how you react to them is what defines you. It's okay to feel down, angry, anxious, homesick or otherwise. How else will you come to know happiness, forgiveness or excitement? Embrace the emotions that you feel, accept them, but then release them. It's when we allow negativity to fester that the true problems arise. We don't control our mood swings, who we fall in love with, or anything that goes on inside that crazy emotional chest of ours - but what we can control are the choices that we make with those feelings in tow. Sadness, insecurity, anger, whatever it may be - negative emotions evolve from limitless sources, but I truly believe that gratitude & communication are the first two steps in climbing the ladder that will take you out of the darkness. Whether you've been there for a mere 20 minutes in grueling traffic, a few months into your working frustrations, or buried for years in a suffocating depression, no one has felt worse from being grateful. Trust me on this. In moments of silence, rather than dwelling on your shortcomings, think about all the things in this life that you are grateful for. YOU and only you have the ability to change your tomorrow. In this world of 7 billion people, the odds are that your genuine well being means the world to someone (probably a lot of someones) - if you think otherwise, do the math. Be brave, if not for yourself, then for those that love you, and open the bottle of words unspoken aimlessly floating through your veins. Allow yourself to be loved and cared for. We all deserve to be loved and cared for. Perfection does not build deep, human, bonds; vulnerability does. Let's stop walking around with perfectly filtered lives, but open our arms to embrace the beautiful mess that we all truly are. (In my case, when Ron Burgundy yelled the words, 'I'm in a glass case of emotion'.. Yup, basically my life. I love too hard, I cry when I'm overly happy- I'm a constant basket case. Okay back to being serious...(but really).) Emotions are quite frankly one of the most extraordinary phenomenons of this life, and you are NOT alone in experiencing them. Regardless of if you've been living on cloud 9, or battling the whispers of self doubt, we're all susceptible to switch sides at any moment in time. The key is to know that you have a choice. Are you going to let negativity consume you? Or are you going to leave this device with the will to climb out of the darkness? As much as society might like you to believe it, no one is perfect. Despite how 'together' others may seem on the outside, everyone has their own quiet conflicts that they are dealing with. Why don't we share our struggles the way that we share our success? After all, we learn more from our low points than we do our high, do we not? Whether your emotional burden is due to circumstance, genetics or otherwise, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. Don't fall victim to the idea of necessary perfection, and certainly don't fall victim to insecurity's bullying habbits. You would not want to see someone you love being bullied, so why would you allow it to be your reality? Put the emotional antagonizer in his place, and change you reality. Don't spend your life feeling low in solitude, use this energy to create something beautiful. Create happiness, create relationships, create the life that you deserve. Personal change does not come easily, but by all means, it IS possible. What if I told you that you have the potential to inspire others with your strength? Well I'm telling you now that you do. No matter what it is that you're going through, YOU have the power to be better than you were yesterday. YOU have the power to lift others higher. YOU have the power to create a beautiful life. The decision is in your hands. What are you going to do with it? Don't know where to start? Try my SIX QUICK FIX TRICKS - It's a small start, but a start none the less. Side note: I heard these words spoken in a movie once, and I thought that it was beautifully calming. Feels appropriate to share it right now:
"Take three deep breaths. This is the only moment you need to be worried about. There's no yesterday. There's no tomorrow. There's just right now. You're not late for anything, and you're going to miss anything. You're exactly where you're supposed to be... and you're exactly who you're supposed to be. You're absolutely perfect. And whatever happens today is exactly what's supposed to happen." (Hit&Run, 2012) "Do you think that we will still do this when we're older?" he asked. My eyes looked up to rest against his, "what do you mean?" I replied. "Just all of our friends being together... more people than beds, but it doesn't matter...just this..." This weekend I had the pleasure of being a part of joint birthday festivities. Coming to the end of our two hour journey from 'home', we swerved through a winding path hugged by lush greenery to arrive at our celebration destination. Fallen flowers from the Poui trees decorated the ground that surrounded the charming house upon the hill. The well kept garden looked out onto the vast ocean - it was a day dream come to life.
While admiring the beauty that surrounded the house brought peace and serenity, inside was a little different. Not because the house wasn't lovely (it was) but the chaos that you could imagine we created was quite a contrast. It wasn't a negative chaos, but the exciting kind. The sort of chaos where you're running around trying to find the best sleeping spot, where there are too many hands grabbing the delicious beef kebabs, and the words PING-PANG-PONG aren't just blabber, but the difference between life and drunk. It was a weekend where coolers became preformance stages, water bottles became microphones, those who slept first got lipstick smeared on them and those who slept last were woken too soon by the sound of morning laughter. We sang at the top of our lungs, went exploring, climbed mountains, played games in the rain and .... battled for the one available (indoor) shower. It was the type of weekend where I was so caught up in each moment that I had not once checked my cell phone. It was the type of weekend that made some fear that growing up would mean losing our carefree, humble selves. When the question was presented to me, I initially thought, "yes, we will change." I couldn't envision 40 year old me battling for a place to sleep (as fun as it was). I envisioned 40 year old me sipping margaritas on a yacht... and when the words came out my mouth, it initially saddened me. This great weekend full of life and laughter... and it won't always be like this. But then I stumbled upon a note I had previously written (yes, I randomly write my thoughts down) : "I don't like the word always; It's stagnant. It implies that nothing is going to change, and that's impossible. Everything changes everyday. Always, What a false comfort." It sounds a little grim, but it's not intended to be. The magic that we experience now will change, but we should not fear that our future won't bring a different type of magic. The experiences, and even many friends, that I had in high school are now but mere memories. Everything has changed since, but it doesn't discredit the magic that it was, and future me will soon feel the same about today. It dawned on me when I pictured myself being fabulous on a yacht, rather than buried between bodies of friends, that my image for the future was skewed. Having the resources to be 'fabulous' doesn't (and shouldn't) change you at your core. Being 40 doesn't mean I can't use a water bottle as a microphone or create a makeshift stage (proof: I do it with my mom far too often). Growing older will bring changes, but it's up to us on how we adapt to them. We will not ALWAYS be the way we are in this very moment. We may not be surrounded by the same people or believe all the same things, and so yes change is inevitable. That's why we must appreciate these moments as they come, appreciate the people who we're so lucky to meet along the way and the adventures we're so blessed to have.... But to really answer the question 'will we still do this when we're older'? I don't see why not. Margaritas and a yacht don't fulfill a life, the people you drink those margaritas with do. If you all promise to sing too loud, dance until your feet hurt, and continue to go on adventures with me... I promise to do the same. Change is inevitable, but we control the magic inside of us that keeps our spirit alive. Thank you for another wonderful weekend to all those who so openly welcomed me into your circles. Have you ever caught a laughing fit? That feeling where you're laughing so hard, someone can say something incredibly random like, 'potato' and it's as if you heard the best joke of your life?! Those are my absolute favorite. I do have a reason for bringing that up. One second, let me get to it.... Last week I got a call to send in an audition tape for a short film (those calls are also my favorite haha). I was super excited about it, until I realized that I'm (not-so-)secretly really awkward. In front of my fellow acting peers I'm super invested, but in front of people outside of that bubble... I get so nervous. As much as we can develop thick skin and try not to concern ourselves with the opinions of others, people are judgy (shh...it's a word now), and it still takes an initial courage to step forward. So, now surrounded by a total of zero of my uni-film family, I had to weigh my options. Who can I ask to audition/read with me??? I scrolled through a mental list, and while I'm sure each person on that list would be willing to help.. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There was truly only one man for the job, and if you know this particular individual, you will completely understand why. For those of you who don't know, a picture says 1,000 words... you're welcome. SO... after arranging his entire room to accommodate my audition (the draws moved to the center of the room, stacked with books to get the camera just right. He brought in extra lights and chairs from outside...the works) we began. I didn't last 30 seconds. What started as nervous laughter morphed into a comedy show. Between the accents, the antics and all in-between, I'm not quite sure how we got the job done. Moments like those... moments of pure laughter. Moments that make everything else disappear because all you can do is laugh, those are the moments I live for. Stepping out of my comfort zone is always a good feeling, but experiencing the love and support of the people around me (all while having a good time)- there is no comparison. Wanna know the best part? Even with all of the giggles, a couple days later my phone rang and ... I got the gig! Remember the other day when I wrote about success not being a one man journey? This is a great example of why. I couldn't have auditioned without my cousin, and I wouldn't have gotten the opportunity without those involved in the project... so for that, I would like to say THANK YOU. I don't often tell people when good things are in the works as (not to sound negative but) a lot of the time no one is really that concerned as they are focused on their own journeys... which is fine too...BUT as this blog is documenting MY JOURNEY ... I'M SHARING THE GOOD NEWS! WOOOHOOO! It will be filming next year, so hopefully you'll stick around to see how it goes. Until then... The journey continues... Trying to audition with this guy got me like...On a scale of 1 - 10 ( one being 'I haven't had my coffee yet' and ten being, 'I feel more stressed out than America right now') how rough has your week been? Or maybe not? Maybe things have been smooth sailing and if that's the case - CONGRATULATIONS ON SUCCESSFULLY HUMAN-ing! I can't even say 'adult-ing' because... well... life does not discriminate. Young, old, fat, slim, black, white, we're all on the same roller coaster. This roller coaster will send you sky rocketing into the heavens, and other times drop you so low that your stomach is in knots. One moment your screaming with excitement, and the next, you're really trying not to cry in front of the stranger sitting next to you. It's the wildest, most thrilling, most emotionally dramatic experience we will ever know. It's all encompassing. In this life it's not uncommon when we become consumed with our day to day activities. Be it that we're busy at work, with kids, fighting to reach our goals, or really just trying to keep it together; So often I see people become prisoners of their self-constructed-to-do-lists. We're ALWAYS on the go, ALWAYS accessible, and yet it's a time in humanity where I've come to see the most stress and LONELINESS. (not that I've visited other times in humanity to compare or anything but... you get where I'm coming from.) You spend so much time trying to do what you 'need to do,' do you ever stop to take care of YOURSELF? I've been thinking about it lately and decided to construct my own 'SIX QUICK FIX TRICKS' (say that 5 times fast. I dare you.) to improving the week. One day a week I decided to take the time to check a to-do list that would leave a positive influence in my life. The list is as follows: #1. ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING BEFORE 8am Literally anything! Finishing reading a book, exercise, do laundry... Just be productive. #2. COMPLETE A TASK YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF When I told my brother about it he said, "I haven't put off anything.... Actually, I think i've put stuff off for so long I don't remember what it was anymore." - At least he's honest. #3. CLEAN/TIDY AN AREA THAT YOU SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN You don't have to clean the entire house (unless you want to); but, your kitchen, your desk, your bedroom, your car... #4. TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE THEM Say it in person, write a text, send a letter... a simple 'thank you' is even enough, but just make sure to share the love. #5. DO SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE Help a friend, let a car out in traffic, pay for the man in line behind you, offer to baby sit .. the scale doesn't matter. #6. CALL/VISIT SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO IN A WHILE. Don't let your hectic life cause you to loose the people who matter. Always make time. FYI: A breakdown of why I chose these specific tasks would look something like this: #1:Be productive #2: Begin to declutter your mind #3: Declutter your surroundings #4: Be grateful #5: Be kind #6: Nurture relationships. Each one of these elements I believe to be very important to our well being. So today I took to completing this 'challenge' and I must say, it felt good! The actions I decided to take were by no means extravagant, but they were steps in the right direction to a productive and positive week. My six went as follows: (pictures below) 1. A 6am run - My running partner was not pleased with the call time, but a little healthy competition made for a great morning run! I love to get my exercise out the way because on afternoons I get lazy. 2. I FINALLY delivered a birthday present that was sitting in my room for 2 months. - It felt good, not only having one less thing to remember to do, but birthday presents always put me in a good mood. 3. My desk-turned-clothes-rack became a desk once again. - I've been staring at the mountain of paraphernalia on my desk for far longer than I would like to admit. I finally have a work space again (which makes me feel to be productive). 4. I wrote a note of appreciation to someone special to me. - It's always special to let someone important to you know how much they matter. 5. I did my mom's laundry for her - I don't like doing laundry, but it put a smile on her face so - that felt good. 6. I called a really good friend on the phone to catch up (as I couldn't get the time to physically see her.) - It's SO EASY to say 'tomorrow' but I made the effort to pick up the phone & it was wonderful chatting. We even made plans to meet up this week! These small gestures gave me the ability to clear my cluttered surroundings and my cluttered mind. It forced me to make time for myself, and the people that matter most. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of your days, but sometimes it's important to stop and do the little things that turn into the big things. Small positive changes can make big waves. We need to make sure not to stray from the tiny moments that bring us joy and clarity amongst all of the chaos. Don't end up a statistic on my 1- 10 scale. Some time this week I challenge you to try my 'SIX QUICK FIX TRICKS' with me ! There's honestly truly no such thing as a 'quick fix', but 'six ways to help improve your week' just doesn't roll off the tongue the same! Regardless, it's certainly a start to a less stressful, more positive lifestyle. So......Are you gonna join me, or you just gonna sit here and read??? MY SIx.Oh ps! If you do decided to try it out with me, let me know how it goes for you!
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