Before you read any further... Can we take a moment to commend my enthusiastic post before this. Haha - R.I.P . ok, ok - RESUME: So Carnival is 9 days away, and I may have lost two pounds depending on the time of day that I step on the scale.
Clearly socially peer pressuring myself was unsuccessful. The thing is, I realized halfway though the process that... I don’t care. With the utmost respect and kindness…(For the most part) I don’t care what you think. Yeah, there's always room for improvement...but I like me (with all my curves&all my edges). I exercise about 4/5 days of the week, I don’t eat terribly, I’m not slim, but nor am I fat. Halfway through trying to pressure myself into being “thin”, I realized that it’s completely ridiculous that I should feel inferior when I look in the mirror at my 1” of extra tummy, paired with my shapely thighs. I’ve been through this before, Why am I standing in the same position at a different venue? REWIND: To a Carnival fete a couple of weeks ago when a beautiful, slender girl spotted me midway through a mouthful of fries. “CARLY! WHAT do you think you’re doing?” she sternly asked me. I looked around unsure of what I was doing, but quickly caught on. Mid-chew I mumbled, “ammm...eating fries.” “But Carnival is right around the corner.” She insisted, “I still have 5 pounds to loose.” I looked at her mildly confused, as her slim frame, in my eyes, needed no change. Over twenty pounds lighter than me, I toyed with the idea that her frame was assisted by the grace of good genetics. I can’t imagine that she’s ever experienced the wrath of a mediocre metabolism. I also don’t believe that my body could ever achieve such a shape even if I tried. For a moment I felt guilty, but it wasn’t long before it hit me again - I don’t actually care. Yes, Carnival has evolved into a magical, colorful expression of culture where the population is dressed in bedazzled bikinis. Yes, of course we all want to put our best foot forward, rocking a body that can do justice to the phenomenal costumes. Yes! Of course we want to look fabulous for photographs! But when it’s all said and done, There are more important things in this world than being known as slim. & There are more important things in this world than taking attractive pictures for Facebook. What about being kind? What about being understanding? What about being thoughtful? What about being real? Don’t get me wrong, being healthy is important. Taking care of your body is important, and I do not in any way promote “letting yourself go.” But I can’t help but wonder... Why should I not enjoy a bowl of ice cream on a Sunday evening because a stranger is going to judge my extra inch of fat come bikini season? I’ve come to realize that I don’t want to be healthy to impress other people. Hence this social experiment failed. I want to be healthy for the sake of discipline, and this is where my blurred vision caused me to fall short. Discipline, in my eyes, is vital. I think that it’s so important that you can keep your word- That you can say you’re going to do something, and you actually do it. A lack of discipline in your life can have a trickling effect through your health, economic standing, relationships, and life in general. My point? Personally, I was going about being healthy for all of the wrong reasons and it stunted my motivation. I tried to be aesthetically pleasing, rather than disciplined (or even healthy for the benefit of my internal system). Being aesthetically pleasing does not drive me to be better. It’s superficial. I'm not one for superficiality. Being disciplined, being a better all-rounded person, That’s what has the potential to drive me. I stand before you today, unsuccessful in my journey thus far, But as the saying goes: "you don’t fail until you quit" and I don’t quit. I will walk into Carnival Monday, my usual saucy self (I may be one of the first saucy section leaders you find: someone note that for the history books) but the journey is never wasted so long as you learn. This process has taught me a little more about myself, and what truly matters to me. Being comfortable in my own skin is what is most important to me... Not being slim to impress the masses, but content with MYSELF. The quality of having discipline is what’s important to me... – Not to be slim for the sake of being aesthetically pleasing to others. Carnival is suppose to be a celebration of liberation, But somewhere along the line it turned into a fitness/fashion competition (that’s another blog post on it’s own). - - - Hey, I’m sure that when Facebook is flooded with your ‘fabulous-costume-ready-bodies’ on Wednesday morning I will applaud you with a tinge of envy at your hard work (No really. It’s a serious effort and I admire you!), but until then... … MY JOURNEY CONTINUES – When I start this the right way, I’ll keep you posted on how that goes until that day: To all my ladies not totally “carnival ready” - have no shame. Find me on the road Carnival Monday and we will take a drink to that! REMEMBER: There are more important things in this world than being slim. ... like the memories, and friends, and family, and love! Spend more time ENJOYING the greatest show on earth, and less time worrying about your barely existent belly. Promise me that you will remember that when you start to doubt yourself this Carnival season. See ya when I see ya :) xXx -Me
13 Comments
Nicola Farah
18/2/2017 11:39:53 am
Absolutely wonderful article.....wish more women would think like Carly Coutts! You go girl.....Cheers to you!
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Vanessa griffith
18/2/2017 12:03:18 pm
Absolutely adored this article. So true.
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Carly Coutts
19/2/2017 09:48:24 am
Thank you ! :)
Carly Coutts
19/2/2017 09:48:10 am
Thank you so much! Glad that you enjoyed it :)
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Dominique Galt
18/2/2017 04:28:09 pm
So happy you took the time to write this ! Full respect !
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Carly Coutts
19/2/2017 09:48:56 am
Thank you :) I really appreciate it!
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Laura Hart
18/2/2017 06:49:08 pm
I wish that I had the words to describe how fantastic your article is..... I wish more women had your confidence and Strength. So beautifully written. I look forward to more articles ....
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Carly Coutts
19/2/2017 09:49:26 am
Really glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you so much :)
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Kimberley
19/2/2017 02:45:33 pm
That's my girl.....knowing there is more to life than outer beauty....
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Ashley phillips
21/2/2017 09:15:20 pm
Wow this is exactly what I needed to read with my plane taking off in only 4 days to Trinidad. I am beyond excited for my FIRST Jouvert/carnival experience! But it has been overshadowed by a strict ridiculous diet and worrying about getting my body into "Trinidadian girl standards" ya know tan, toned, and beyond gorgeous... I had a similar revelation this morning where I looked in the mirror after doing squat after squat and said "I don't care anymore". I am going to enjoy my experience and let my fitness obsession take a back seat. I hope I see you at carnival and we can take that drink you mentioned. Xx
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Carly Coutts
26/2/2017 11:13:20 am
I'm so glad that you had that revelation & that you enjoyed the read. I promise you that when you get on the road, none of it even matters! Just the good vibes, and good company :) You're going to LOVE your first Carnival/Jouvert.... I will see you on the road FOR SURE and we will take that drink ;)
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Sharen Rayside
23/3/2017 06:16:57 am
This was a such great read and just what a needed for a little pick-me-up, i don't know you but this article has hit so close to home, i am happy i stumbled on your blog.
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