In my twenties I was a lot of things, but simultaneously nothing at all.
I was an actress, an event planner, a videographer, an editor, a writer, a designer, a business owner ... and yet, I was a professional nothing-in-particular (or so it felt at the time). I felt awkward to truly own anything that I did, especially because of my artsy line of work. I may have studied it, I may be great at it... But does it work like that? Can you just SAY, "I'm now a grown up, and thus I am a/an [insert profession here]" ??? [*SPOILER ALERT: Turns out that with the right credentials/experience: YOU CAN - AND YOU BETTER*] It's like...One day you're sitting in a university dorm room day-dreaming of what you will be someday, and then suddenly, almost without warning (Wearing a Hogwarts-like cloak, while throwing a silly, square hat up in the air is so not a real warning), that someday is here, and you better BE something quickly! So you're thinking to yourself, "Crap! What should I BE, and will they believe me?? And if they believe me - THEN WHAT?!" So you gear up the courage to BE THAT THING... and then they hit you with: "What's that?" "You studied journalism?" "Gosh sorry! We have no positions open until someone quits." "Oh you're in finance? Perfect!" "We can't wait to make you miserable working long hours for little pay." "You have your degree in engineering?" "That's amazing. Can you do our marketing and maybe walk my dog twice a week?" HUH?! You spend all this time thinking that you're about to be X and suddenly life is like, "nopeeee" maybe you should dabble in some Y. WHY? It took me a few years of career hopping and hustle to understand it for myself. Thrown off track, I began to feel confused. For some reason, as humans we always need to label everything - WHAT AM I? Which one of my jobs am I? Can I be all? What if i'm none? Am I on the right career path? What would I do instead though? ... But just like that, in a moment no more special than the one before, what I thought was my weakness suddenly became my strength. It dawned on me that my label was simply ME: Carly Coutts. I was not wasting time in an unplanned career, I was learning beyond my expectations. I was not indecisive in my career choices, I was determined and willing to find it all. The fact that I didn't classify myself as anything did not set me behind, it was actually in some way genius. I never labeled myself, or put myself in a predetermined box. I didn't just "do a bunch of stuff" as I once told myself. I was a girl capable of successfully bouncing between professions with sufficient knowledge and skill. With a switch of perspective, lost turned into lucrative and I knew that if I used all of that "stuff" to my advantage, there was nothing that could stop me. You see, we do this a lot. We're hard on ourselves for not having it all together, but sometimes, all that it takes is a fleeting moment to realize that maybe, buried amidst the chaos, we're onto something!! Wherever you are in your life right now, whether you've found your dream job or you're still looking for it - Each day is a new learning experience and an opportunity to decide: "What did I learn today? What do I like about this? What don't I like about this? Where do I want to grow from here?" Being in your twenty's is like physically walking through a mental brainstorm (you know the chicken scratch scribbles you jot down?) , except this is your life. You're living the excitement of endless possibilities, yet clouded by the urgency to find the right one. We panic, We feel behind, We look around and compare ourselves... Stop it. Stop it right now. My friend, the answer lies at the heart of the storm. Maybe you just realized that you hate your dream job. Maybe you lost an amazing job, can't find a job, ready to leave your job MAYBE you're actually utterly and completely happy in your job. The point is: My journey is not yours, and your journey is not mine, and our journey is not theirs. You're allowed to leave, you're allowed to stay, you're allowed to dabble... THIS IS THE FUN PART. In these coming years you have the ability to truly define yourself, and it will not be by your profession; It will be by the person you are within these situations. Do you want to fight through that terrible job to reap the long term reward ? DO IT! You motivated fighter, you! Do you want to leave to pursue something that sets your soul on fire? DO IT! You brave human, you! Isn't it beautiful, the utter chaos that we find ourselves in as we lay the foundation of our lives? There is no right or wrong here...There is no timeline...There is simply YOU, and how you decide to navigate through it all. These are the stories that we will one day share with the generations to come. The late nights, the crazy boss, the people that inspired your success, the uncalled for nerves, the loss, the excitement ... YOU ARE IN THIS VERY MOMENT, WRITING THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE. MAKE IT A GOOD ONE. . . . In my twenties I was a lot of things, but simultaneously nothing at all, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 'Nothing' was the blank drawing board I needed to inscribe the most perfect tale of a life well lived.
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AuthorJust a girl in her 20's trying to conquer the world. Archives
August 2019
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